Claudia's Best Friend
by mcpon14
Summary: This is a story about what happens to Claudia after eating spoiled junk food. Oneshot. Alternate universe.


I walked into the mystery beyond, returned and peed my pants. Then I looked down and saw that I wasn't wearing any. I always chose self-created outfits to go out into the world and thought that this was the bee's knees - one of my best - but now I was having second thoughts. I looked at the puddle on the floor and knew that if I stepped in it that I might go through a portal . . . maybe back into that great beyond, somewhere over yonder, somewhere over yonder. I can't describe it. I didn't really know where I was, really. All I know at this moment - all that is encompassing my entire being - is that SHEEP IS IN. I'm the ultimate fashionista and feel like I'm the expert around this small town, that I almost dictate the fashion trends around here, as if if I wore something, everybody will follow . . . like . . . like . . . sheep.

"Okay. Does anyone have any new business?" asked Kristy.

I snapped out of my reverie of reminiscing about how the club started, how it works and the mini-bios of the individual members. If anybody was riding along with me on my daydream, I hope that from it they are caught up to speed on the basics of our club.

I smiled at my fellow sitters on the floor. All of them are on there, except for Kristy who is sitting in the director's chair as usual, because I'm hogging up the bed since I'm not feeling well today. I'm feeling . . . hazy at the moment, as if the present really is all there ever is in the world - no past, no future.

I could imagine Stacey remarking with a wisecrack about how my ailment is all due to my constant consuming of sweets and how it is just all catching up to me now - all at once. And that I deserved it. But she wouldn't actually say that . . . would she? But it would still be a gloat, a gloat about how never eating sweets or too much other junk food has actually been a boon for her since she wouldn't have to deal with the consequences of it: health hazards as a kid or temptations of it as an adult. Funny . . . she never seemed that witchy before.

Oh . . . she's just jealous. I have perfectly good skin even though, presumably, most people would break out in acne or pimples if they ate as much junk food as I did. I must be gifted. She's just jealous. She sure acts like it everytime she helps me with my homework. She talks more like a teacher or a textbook than our teachers do!

Oh, what was I searching for again? Oh, yeah - M&M's! I grabbed the thick Nancy Drew book that was lying next to me on my pillow and opened it. Aha! Found it! I opened it to reveal a bag of what I'd been looking for inside. The book was actually hollow. Stacey never would've been that clever! I passed the candy around to the sitters and it made its way around.

"Ugh!" yelled Mallory, "Ew. Ew. Ew."

"What's the matter?" asked Mary Anne.

"THIS!" exclaimed Mallory as she pointed at the eyeball in her hand.

"Where'd that come from?" Kristy inquired.

"From Claudia's M&M bag." Mallory said as she looked at the surrounding faces around her.

They seemed to be edging closer like a tightening circle.

As Mallory looked from face to face, she felt a vague notion that one of them was missing.

Then there was a resonant click: the unmistakable sound of a deadbolt slamming into its chamber. Mary Anne had locked my bedroom door.

That was my cue.

I threw wide my blanket to reveal on my bed a severed sheep's head with a missing eye between my legs. It was lying in a large circle of soaked-through blood on my bedsheets.

"Your NEXT!" I bellowed as I stood up and walked to join the others as we grinned grins that stretched out beyond our facial cheeks. Our eyes glowed red as we fiendishly tightened the circle around a horrified Mallory with our hands like claws out in front of us.

"Oh my lord! Wait a minute!" I yelled. "It was supposed to be Stacey" I exclaimed as the haziness slowly engulfed me as if I was returning to something.

I lifted my head, which had been buried in a nest of my folded arms, off of my desk. I was sitting in my room with Stacey standing over me.

My opened math book and my study guide sheet sat crooked on my desk.

"Do I really have to start the problem over again?" I groaned.

"Just where you needed to add 5 to both sides of the equation. Just remember to add 5 to the other side this time," reminded Stacey softly.

"But that's in the beginning!" I whined.

"I'm sorry, Claud. But hey, it's the last problem," Stacey said smiling as she tried to cheer me up.

"I'm never going to pass this test," I whimpered.

My mind drifted to that mysterious landscape beyond. It's a land where Stacey feels so at home in, an environment where she excels and where she seems so happy going about the business of the place: this world of equations, numbers, x's and y's. But whenever Stacey holds my hand and attempts to guide me through the entryway to help me learn this math stuff, all I see is murkiness.

I'm never going to escape this fog, I thought.

I looked at the blond mane of my best friend framing such a serene face.

She was only trying to help.

"When's your date with Sam tonight? Aren't you cutting it kind of close?" I asked pointedly but as innocently as I could muster not wanting to hurt her feelings.

Stacey looked at my clock.

"Hmm, you're right," Stacey said. "I'm not going to have much time to get ready for him at this rate. If I'm running a little late, he'll understand. You're worth it, Claud. I'll work with you as long as you need. You're my best friend."


End file.
